Diversity – Britains Got Talent Final Performance 2009

As if you haven’t seen this wonderful display of choreography already.

Classes for Men

Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants each.

TOPIC 1 – How to fill up the ice cube trays:

Step by step, with slide presentation.

TOPIC 2 – The toilet paper roll:

Do they grow on the holders? Roundtable discussion.

TOPIC 3 – How to fight cerebral atrophy:

Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you’re going to be late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.

TOPIC 4 – Fundamental differences between the laundry hamper and the floor:

Pictures and explanatory graphics.

TOPIC 5 – The after-dinner dishes and silverware:

Can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink? Examples on video.

TOPIC 6 – Loss of identity:

Losing the remote to your significant other. Helpline support and support groups.

TOPIC 7 – Learning how to find things:

Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum.

TOPIC 8 – Health watch:

Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics and audio tape.

TOPIC 9 – Real men ask for directions when lost:

Real life estimonials.

TOPIC 10 – Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks?

Driving simulation.

TOPIC 11 – Learning to live:

Basic differences between your mother and your wife. Online class and role playing.

TOPIC 12 – How to be the ideal shopping companion:

Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

“If you aren’t going all the way, then why go at all?”

Joe Namath

Shizzio – 1st Things 1st: The Life & Times Of Joe Daki Vol.1 (2008)

A fast-becoming-famous UK rapper from East London released this unique gem last year, with a flurry of freestyles over own-produced beats and those well know. The mixtape is hosted by the amusing Kat Man, whom some of you may recognise from MTV and other channels.

IMO: Out of the depths of East London emerges Shizzio, someone whose hustle I truly respect. You may or may not have heard of him, so a quick run down goes: his biggest release to date is ‘Arabian Dance’ which was screened on all the major music channels, he recently went to the top of the charts in Miami and Venezuela with his refix of that Strokes tune called ‘Put Up Your Breitling’, and his new single is with US singer TQ. Oh, and he made it to the top 50 bachelors of 2008 in Asiana Mag too. All this, before he’s blown up. This was his first mixtape after his debut EP. Look out for his new mixtape called ‘Invasion Of Privacy’, which is on it’s way onto here too. See below for the links.

Download Page:

http://shizzio.com/1stthings1st/

Direct Link:

http://shizzio.com/1stthings1st/1st%20Things%201st%20-%20Shizzio.zip

I’m Back! Like You Care…

“This guy’s useless. He posts a couple of goodies, a couple of mixtapes that you can find on any other blog, then he vanishes. What’s the point? He’s so lame and lazy. What’s the point if he can’t keep up with content?”

That’s probably the kind of thoughts my ones and fives of followers have of my lack of consistency in this blog lark, and I don’t blame you. I have both an excuse, and a reason too. Yes, both of them are as bad as each other:

Excuse: Some of us bloggers have jizzobs in the world of finance, and this makes March a very busy time of year for us indeed, after all, it being year end we have to try and blag as many expenses as tax-deductable and all the rest of that rubbish. Like you care.

Reason: I’ve been thinking about my content. As tiring as thinking is, consistency with blog content is just as demanding. Anyways, I plan to release more exclusive mixtapes that will destroy the competition out there (yeah right!), and perhaps take a stab at writing some opinionated articles with attention grabbing titles, as I believe my cynicism is second to none, which always makes for a fantastic read. Like you care.

Disclaimer: The author of this blog suffers from compulsive lethargy. Please sympathise if his promises don’t materialise. Like you care…

‘Red’ – Amazing Homeless Beatboxer

IMO: In a world where natural musicians are being replaced with successful criminals looking for a way to launder their money, ‘roses will grow from concrete‘. This guy is/was homeless (I’m assuming/hoping he’s been snapped up by a label somewhere), but he can do a mean G-Funk beatbox. Personally, it’s the dancehall ad-libs Elephant Man style that do it for me. Open your ears and enjoy…

The above clip is supposedly a preview for his forthcoming single to be released in February 2009. Personally, I prefer whichever song he’s doing in the clip below:

Carlsberg don’t do Cup Finals…

…Carling do.

50 Cent – The Undertaker (2009)

DJ Hevehitta, DJ Unexpected & MKW team up with none other than 50 to produce a ‘Motion Picture’ mixtape, a novel way of saying they’ve arranged his songs in a unique order.

IMO: The PSA on this post is that I have shared this album in an attempt to maintain the discipline of the format I have attributed to myself for this blog. Basically (to be said in a Dudley accent), although I haven’t heard this mixtape yet, I’m in no rush to listen to it either. As for many of you also, alot of the tracks on here have been heard before, if not all of them. The concept for this mixtape was to demonstrate a musical autobiography of Fif’s life to date. Well, at least the album art is nice. And credit is due for the concept. See below for the links.

Track Listing:

01. Crossing Him Is A “Grave Mistake”
Scene 1: The Beginning
02. The Year That Changed His Life
03. Growing To Be Rap’s MVP *
Scene 2: A Hustler’s Ambition
04. The Only Solution (Feat. Notorious B.I.G) *
05. Is A Hustler’s Dream For Success (Feat. Marvin Gaye) *
06. Bringing “Reefer Madness” (Feat. Barry White, KRS One, Channel Live & Jigsy King) *
07. But Don’t Get Caught Up As A Suspect (Feat. Tony Yayo)
Scene 3: A Mentor And A Friend
08. The DJ Saved My Life
09. He Aint No “Regular Joe”
Scene 4: Just A Kid From 134th Street
10. I’m A 134th Street Allstar (Unreleased Freestyle)
11. And I’m Realer On The Street, Than I Am On Wax
12. I Showed These Rappers “How To Rob”
Scene 5: I’m A Survivor Of The Streets
13. You Cannot Kill Me
14. Though Many Men Wished Death Upon Me *
Scene 6: The Definition Of A Wanksta
15. What Is A Wanksta?
16. Real Men Don’t “Backdown” !#
17. Or Your Life Will Be On The Line *
18. I Rock Wilder Than The Average (Unreleased Freestyle)
19. That’s Me (The Realest In The Streets) (Unreleased Freestyle)
Scene 7: He Ain’t Got Game
20. I Gave You The Game
21. But He’s Not Rich, And Still Lying
Scene 8: I Created His Own Funeral
22. Where In The World Is Camron?
23. He’s At His Funeral
Scene 9: The Biggest Disappointment
24. His Career Is Dead
25. Cuz I Put A Hollow Thru Him (Feat. Lloyd Banks & Tony Yayo)
26. Last Time You Fuck With My “Piggy Bank” !
Scene 10: Stunting Like His Daddy?
27. You Two Must Be “Part Time Lovers”
28. Too Bad Your Daddy Can’t Make A Hit
29. You Want Me To Die Ugly?
30. Nigga, Now I’m On Your Heels
Scene 11: Mr. Police Academy
31. Talk About My Baby Moms?
32. I’m Going To Fuck Up Your Life For Fun
33. Plus You Won’t Believe What Tia Told Me
34. Even Your Man Knows You’re A Fraud
Scene 12: What’s Beef?
35. Bringing The “Heat” To Any Battle !
36. Cuz You Gonna Get “Shot Down” #
37. Now Your Bloodclot Mouth Is Permantely Shut
Scene 13: I Run This Shit Man
38. I Get Money, Money I Got *
39. You Know I “Get It In” !
40. Cuz I Aint Never Gonna Fall Off !
Scene 14: Headed For Self Destruction
41. Signed, “The Nigga You Love To Hate”

Download Links:

http://www.zshare.net/download/5592384052f578a2/

http://www.sendspace.com/file/d4ul6h

Audio Trailer(‘A Grave Mistake’):

http://www.zshare.net/audio/550626246682bb53/

How Government Works (Surprisingly Accurate)

If you’ve ever been part of a restructure/review at your workplace, you’ll know that someone will always lose out in order to accomodate others. Sure it can be worded in so many other ways, task reduction, streamlining efficiency, and other fancy terms which can pretty much all equate to losing a job. Below is an uncanny example of the bureaucracy that plagues the ethics of our organisations:

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said,

- “Someone may steal from it at night.”

So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said,

- “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?”

So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Congress said,

- “How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?”

So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports. Then Congress said,

- “How are these people going to get paid?”

So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people. Then Congress said,

- “Who will be accountable for all of these people?”

So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then Congress said,

- “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost.”

So they laid off the night watchman.

Maino – 2009 Predictions

IMO: If you haven’t heard it already, you’re probably as good with timing as I am, although I had this song in 2007. We’re a couple months into the new year, and he’s already done a ‘review’ of the track, but it’s a good tune nevertheless. I think. Oh, it’s about his predictions for the year ahead. See below for the links.

2009 Predictions Summary:

# The Knicks will still suck
# Angela Simmons will lose her virginity
# Amy Winehouse will mess around and O.D.
# Rappers will still get robbed
# Real and Chance is coming out the closet
# This year somebody’s going to get killed on World Star
# Remmy Ma going to win her appeal
# Lil Wayne is getting more weirder this year!
# More girl on girl sex this year
# Foxy Brown is finished, she’s coming out with a sex tape
# Chris Brown and Rihanna will make it to September
# Jay Z and Beyonce will have a baby
# We’ll see more tighter clothes on Kanye
# Cam is coming back
# Yung Berg still won’t get his chain back
# Cops will still shoot us and get away with it
# Al Sharpton’s going to march and not do a thing again
# Another book by Supahead is coming soon about how to suck d*ck using autotunes
# 50 Cent will be the first real rapper on Oprah
# And Maino will be the next to blow!

Download Links(3.2MB):

http://sharebee.com/29b663e5

http://rapidshare.com/files/182586621/maino-2009_predictions.mp3.html

http://www.zshare.net/audio/54044678ff6ac137/

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=7AJ9H7Q9

http://depositfiles.com/files/uowleh141

http://www.badongo.com/file/12866574

More Download Links:

http://www.zshare.net/audio/540423520acb7315/

http://www.zshare.net/audio/54044055123b4fe1/

http://www.mediafire.com/?y2trotze20m