Classes for Men

Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants each.

TOPIC 1 – How to fill up the ice cube trays:

Step by step, with slide presentation.

TOPIC 2 – The toilet paper roll:

Do they grow on the holders? Roundtable discussion.

TOPIC 3 – How to fight cerebral atrophy:

Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you’re going to be late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.

TOPIC 4 – Fundamental differences between the laundry hamper and the floor:

Pictures and explanatory graphics.

TOPIC 5 – The after-dinner dishes and silverware:

Can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink? Examples on video.

TOPIC 6 – Loss of identity:

Losing the remote to your significant other. Helpline support and support groups.

TOPIC 7 – Learning how to find things:

Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum.

TOPIC 8 – Health watch:

Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics and audio tape.

TOPIC 9 – Real men ask for directions when lost:

Real life estimonials.

TOPIC 10 – Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks?

Driving simulation.

TOPIC 11 – Learning to live:

Basic differences between your mother and your wife. Online class and role playing.

TOPIC 12 – How to be the ideal shopping companion:

Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

How Government Works (Surprisingly Accurate)

If you’ve ever been part of a restructure/review at your workplace, you’ll know that someone will always lose out in order to accomodate others. Sure it can be worded in so many other ways, task reduction, streamlining efficiency, and other fancy terms which can pretty much all equate to losing a job. Below is an uncanny example of the bureaucracy that plagues the ethics of our organisations:

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said,

- “Someone may steal from it at night.”

So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said,

- “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?”

So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Congress said,

- “How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?”

So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports. Then Congress said,

- “How are these people going to get paid?”

So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people. Then Congress said,

- “Who will be accountable for all of these people?”

So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then Congress said,

- “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost.”

So they laid off the night watchman.

PocketMod – Free Recyclable Personal Organizer

Calling all Origami enthusiasts. I came across this wonderfully designed way to keep your life in check without the digital requirements. It’s like making a mini paper-book for your back pocket. Still lost? I’ll let them explain it:

“The PocketMod is a small book with guides on each page. These guides or templates, combined with a unique folding style, enable a normal piece of paper to become the ultimate note card.”

There’s load’s of PocketMods available already, by way of games or exercise regimes. Personally, I plan to get my six-pack grind on in time for the Summer showboat. See below for the link.

Website Link:

http://www.pocketmod.com/

Windows 7 Beta – What’s the big deal?

IMO: After a weekend of ‘F5’s, I finally managed to get mine. Did you get yours? But who is it? What is it? And Why? Where? When? With so much confusion, excitement, disdain, and anticipation surrounding it’s release, I thought I’d compile an easy to understand overview of the whole thing. Well, easy for me anyway:

Windows 7 is the new OS from Microsoft due to be released later this year. The Beta version is a test release for the public to try it out before it is released officially. It is not the finished product.

The initial idea was to have it available for download for one weekend only with 2.5 million activation keys available. Fat chance. It was overwhelmed by the demand and was pretty much forced to extend availabililty until the end of January with no cap on activation keys. As far as I know.

Why bother? Initial reports and feedbacks have pretty much said it is amazing. And it does look it. It has been compared to Vista Ultimate, except much faster and with all the bugs ironed out. So it’s what Vista should have been then. Apparently, boot time is meant to be less than 30 seconds, although my XP does this even with a hangover.

Let’s be honest – Vista was what we call ‘waste’. It should have received nothing but ‘air’. Windows 7 promises to bring OS sexiness back to Microsoft, and it seems to be doing so. For more info, see below for the links.

How to dual boot Windows 7 with XP or Vista (This really is the most definitive article)

What you should expect from Windows 7 Beta (The best screenshots I’ve seen so far)

Windows 7 Beta Download Page (This is pretty self-explanatory)

IMPORTANT – For those who plan to follow through:

• Once you’ve installed it, make sure you install updates immediately, in particular update KB961367. Failure to do so will result in the possible damage of your MP3 files.
• This is a BETA version, not the final product. This means finding, reporting and fixing bugs. Dual-boot this baby unless you’re au fait with PC’s. As much as I trust the opinions, August is a long way away and I’m not taking any chances.

MORAL OF THE STORY: WINDOWS XP IS THE ‘DOGS’.